10 Day You Challenge - Day Three - Eight Fears

Day Three - Eight Fears

I honestly struggled to find eight fears, so some of them are more irritations.

1. Death - I have always been scared of death. I don't know if it is the process of dying that I'm scared of, or if it's being the last one left behind. I have worked in palliative care, I've even worked in a funeral home! Being around people who are dying or deceased, doesn't scare me at all. It's me dying, or me being the last one left that scares me! 

2. Crowds/noise - I always thought I had a problem with crowds, but I have figured out that I don't have an issue with the actual crowds, it's the noise that they generate. For example when I go to the local shopping centre my ears are hit with:- screaming kids, parents yelling, spruikers selling their goods, the trolley collector guy - pushing a million rattling trolleys, the blaring music from teen fashion stores, people reaching out and asking you to try their 'miracle' cream, people calling for donations.....ARGH!!!! Quiet!! So for this reason I generally avoid large crowded areas. The scale doesn't have to be as large as a shopping centre either. If I am out at dinner and there are four conversations going on at one table, and everyone is wanting to talk at once.....mix that in with the all of the other background noise, and I'm likely to lose my cool. lol

We have one neighbour who yells constantly, she yells at her kids, grand kids, husband and dog. She also yells when she's on the phone. She slams the door, bangs down plates.... Yes, we can hear what goes on inside her house, because she is one of these people who is just generally loud in every sense of the word - and no, she is not deaf. Now I am not saying you need to live like a church mouse! We have parties at home, have the stereo on and watch TV, but what I am trying to say is please have some respect for those around you. Noise pollution encroaches into peoples personal space, and is often not thought about in terms of what is, and is not offensive to another. Okay, noise rant over lol 

3. Poverty - At one point when I was younger, I was in a relationship with someone who had an illness that lasted twelve months. Given that I was young, my hourly rate was quite low and my partner at the time was unable to work. It seemed that every cent I made went on bills and food, and by the end of the month there wasn't a cent left to stretch. We reached a point where we actually started to approach charities, as we were drastically behind on our bills, and on the verge of being homeless. My life now is very different to what my life was like then... I would never wish poverty on anyone. 

4. Dentist - I guess this is a common fear.... The dreaded dentist. I have such a fear of the dentist, that the last time I had new dentist, my wife actually made an appointment for herself for a general clean, so that she could explain to the dentist my morbid fear. I remember being in the backseat of my Aunts car when I was little, and telling her after an appointment how much it hurt.... I don't know if that has anything to do with it..... Or if I just don't like the dentist!

5. Gangs - Years ago I used to live in a rough part of Sydney. It was an area well known for both gang related and random shootings, stabbings and bashings. Now I am not a fighter, I do not have the physique to defend myself. When I lived in this area I used to work late, and I would have to travel home on my own, and the whole trip home my eyes would be wide open and my ears would be pricked. The sound of footsteps behind me used to give me chills, because I knew that if someone picked a fight with me, I would come off second best.   

6. Public toilets - Okay this one is probably too much information..... So feel free to skip ahead to  number 7. lol When I was a teen, again.... I'm not a fighter and when I was young I was quite a weedy kid with no muscle tone. One day this huge older bloke that used work where I worked, cornered me in the mens bathroom and told me that he would be back, and that I was to stay and wait for him! I freaked out completely!! So to cut a long story short, ever since then, if I absolutely have to go to the loo when I'm out.... I'm a run in there, use a cubical and run out again kind of person. Yep, even now as an adult, that incident scarred me for life lol I never want to find myself in a situation like that again. For the record, I have gay friends as I do not have any issues whatsoever with gay people.... I just have issues with creepy old blokes, trying to take advantage of younger males.  

7. Being late - I am always early - point blank! If I even get the slightest feeling that something may happen, that will prevent me being early.....I'm not even talking about being on time here, I'm talking about being early, I get nervous and get the jitters! I have always been like this, I just simply despise being late.

8. Going to hospital - I've been in hospital a couple of times in my life, and I don't actually have a fear of surgery, I have a fear of being in a situation where you are vulnerable. A few years back I had surgery, and for about the first two days post operatively, I was treated particularly badly by a nurse who was rostered to the ward I was on. Of course during those two days, I was also taking medication for pain relief, and floated in and out of reality a bit. However, I wasn't off with the pixies to the extent that I didn't know what was going on around me. The feeling of being in pain and nauseous, and knowing that the people who are there to help you, have no interest in doing their job correctly, is very frightening. 

I'm glad that Day Three Eight Fears is done.... It's all a bit doom and gloom! Day Four Seven Wants has to be better!