When I felt that I was able to return to my Aunts house, and start sorting out her belongings, my wife and my family assisted. It did take us a couple of weeks. It was also an awkward time for me, because as I stated in a previous post, there had been a family breakdown.
A fairy statue in my Aunts garden
After a couple of weeks of sorting, cleaning and donating goods to charity, I asked my family if I could speak to them about something. My wife wasn't with us on this day, as I had told her that I was going to speak to my family about my Bipolar, and it was my mess.
I sat down with my family and had a coffee, I had no idea where to start or what to say. I had been going over what I was going to say in my head all week, but when it came down to it, I still couldn't find the right place to start. So I just told them straight out that I had been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. I tried my best to explain what had been going on in my head, both pre and post medication. It's quite difficult to explain to someone how your thought process works, when you don't fully have a grasp of why you may have thought, said or done something yourself.
My family listened to what I had to say, while I continued to try and find the words to help them understand, that I was sorry for what I had done, and how I had behaved. I think my disclosure left one family member a bit shaken, as I didn't feel that they were expecting me to say what I did. However I think it helped them to understand my erratic behaviour, in the recent years as well as when I was younger. The other family member knew of someone else who has Bipolar, so they we were aware to a degree of how a person may behave if they have Bipolar are not medicated.
After I had said everything that I went there to say, we chatted about other topics for a while, before we went back to our own homes. On my 1.5 hour drive home, I mulled over everything that was said. The discussion seemed to happen so fast, that it was now a bit of a blur in my mind. I believe that it went as well as could be expected, and thankfully had a positive outcome. Since that day, I have regular contact with those family members.
It's nice to hear that you're getting along better with your family.
ReplyDeleteI think I know what you mean about important conversations going by fast and having to think about it (process it) later.
Hi Dina,
ReplyDeleteyes, process is a good word....
Everyday regular conversations don't really have any speed or urgency to them. I think that's why this conversation felt that it flew as it wasn't a regular everyday conversation.